Happy Monday everyone!
Despite most everyone having heard the term “domestic violence” before, not many know that there are several different types of domestic violence.
What is domestic violence?
Though it’s quite nuanced and there’s no one agreed-upon definition of domestic violence, it basically involves any pattern of behaviors meant to obtain and maintain power and control over another individual.
It is often believed that domestic violence only occurs between dating or married couples, but that’s not the case. In addition to intimate partner violence, domestic violence can occur between individuals in any sort of relationship.
These relationships can be between family members (for example, between a mother and daughter, siblings, step-family members, etc.) or between ex-partners. Domestic violence can even occur between roommates who aren’t related or between a paid caregiver and their patient.
7 types of domestic violence
1. Physical abuse
Physical abuse involves any physical act of violence used to maintain power and control, like:
hitting
kicking
biting
hair pulling
shoving
Physical abuse is the type of domestic violence that people are most familiar with. This is because it can be the easiest to recognize. But, just because it’s the easiest to recognize, doesn’t mean it’s easy to recognize.
Most abusers will only use enough force so they won’t leave any physical marks on their victim. If they do leave physical marks, the marks tend to be in places that are easy to cover with clothing, accessories, or makeup.
2. Sexual abuse
Sexual abuse is the use of physical or sexual intimacy as a means of control.
Some examples of sexual abuse include:
sexualizing your clothing
forcing sexual acts
performing sexual acts you didn’t consent to
intentionally giving you a sexually transmitted infection
Consent is a major factor of sexual assault and sexual abuse. Any act performed without your explicit consent is considered sexual assault, even if you gave consent initially but then changed your mind. You 100% have the right to revoke consent at any time.
One aspect of sexual abuse is sexual coercion. Sexual coercion includes things like:
giving you drugs or alcohol to make you more agreeable to sex
telling you that you’d have sex if you truly loved them
getting angry with you or lashing out when you don’t want to have sex
threatening violence if you don’t agree to sex
telling you they “need” sex or begging you for sex
3. Emotional/Psychological abuse
Emotional or psychological abuse can be one of the hardest types of domestic violence to recognize. This type of abuse includes any non-physical behaviors used to maintain control or to cause fear.
Some examples of emotional or psychological abuse include:
isolating you from friends and family
insulting you, calling you names, or constantly belittling you
threatening violence against you, your family and friends, or even your pets
throwing objects, causing damage to your belongings
gaslighting you—making you question your sanity, telling you that you aren’t remembering things correctly or that you are overreacting, denying things you know to be true, etc.
blaming you for the abuse
telling you that you’re unworthy and that you are lucky they love you
4. Financial/Economic abuse
Financial or economic abuse is when the abuser uses money and/or employment to keep their victim dependent on them.
Financial or economic abuse looks like:
giving you an allowance
restricting or prohibiting access to bank accounts or credit cards
preventing you from working, limiting the number of hours you can work, or telling you what jobs you can or can’t have
maxing out credit cards or not paying bills without telling you
intentionally damaging your credit score so you can’t buy a car or house
prohibiting you from obtaining a degree so you can further your career
If any of the other types of abuse are present, financial abuse is almost always also present.
5. Technological/Digital abuse
Technological or digital abuse is the use of technology to bully, harass, stalk, or control someone.
Some examples of technological or digital abuse are:
making you give them your social medial passwords so they can see who you are talking to in your DMs
sending you threatening messages
constantly monitoring your location with tracking apps, or by calling/Facetiming you to make sure you are where you say you are
checking/looking through your phone or computer
sending you or making you send unwanted sexually explicit texts or pictures
“spoofing” their phone number so you think it’s not them calling
6. Reproductive coercion
Reproductive coercion is a specific type of coercion where abusers take control of their victim’s reproductive system/health.
This type of abuse can include:
refusing to use a condom or restricting access to birth control
lying about methods of birth control (saying they are on birth control when they aren’t or saying they’ve had a procedure like a vasectomy or tubal ligation when they haven’t)
sabotaging methods of birth control like tampering with birth control pills or poking holes in a condom before use
forcing pregnancy, forcing abortions, or preventing you from getting an abortion
7. Stalking
Stalking is often viewed as having a stranger follow you around constantly, but in actuality, stalking victims know their stalkers.
Stalking is having someone watch, follow, or harass you repeatedly. Typically, stalking involves causing fear or feeling unsafe.
Some examples of stalking are:
showing up where you are unannounced/uninvited
sending you unwanted texts, emails, etc.
leaving unwanted gifts at your house, your work, or on/in your car
having other people monitor your behaviors and activities
damaging your belongings
Stalking can be difficult to handle legally because there’s often little to no evidence of wrongdoing.
Despite all 50 states having anti-stalking legislation, police often can’t arrest someone for stalking because they didn’t cause injury to the victim or because the legislation is written in a way that they didn’t technically violate any laws.
According to the Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center (SPARC), 76% of individuals who were murdered by a current or former intimate partner were stalked by their abuser.
Resources for victims of domestic violence
If you or someone you know are experiencing any of these types of violence, here are a few organizations* you can reach out to:
*United States only
Until next week,
Rychelle💜
Fantastic and grave! Thank you so much for simplifying these things as you have. So often we hear about abuse but we ignore our own. The sisters of our world must be empowered to see and name their abuse. This is a primer on that subject - well done!