Happy Monday everyone!
Self defense seminars are advertised to women and children on a regular basis. We constantly see flyers posted on campuses or in our workplaces that say something along the lines of “Learn how to defend yourself against an attacker in just a few short hours!” or “Your kid can learn how to fend off a bully in no time!”
That sounds great, right? What woman doesn’t want to feel safer walking to her car alone? What parent wouldn’t want their kid to be able to protect themselves against a bully at school?
The reality is that those one-time self defense seminars can actually cause a more dangerous situation.
The problem with one-time self defense seminars
The big issue with self-defense seminars is that they are typically a one-time event that takes place over a few hours in a single day. Participants show up, watch an instructor demonstrate a couple of moves and then they practice those moves a few times on a compliant drilling partner pretending to be an attacker.
This is a problem for two reasons that go hand-in-hand.
1. This short practice time doesn’t create muscle memory.
When it comes to life-threatening situations, we need to be able to act without thinking. We need to be able to rely on our body’s muscle memory to act when our brain is in crisis mode.
If we only practice something a few times, we can’t create that muscle memory we need when our life depends on it.
Here’s an example:
A few weeks ago I asked Corey to show me a specific move in jiu-jitsu to help me get out of a problematic position I keep finding myself in during rolls.
He showed me the move, I understood it conceptually, and was able to perform the move on him correctly a few times. It seemed like an easy-to-implement solution to my problem.
That same day, I tried the move he showed me at least 5 times during actual rolls, and failed every time.
Even though I could successfully drill the move on Corey, a person way bigger and stronger than me, when it came time to actually do the move when I needed it, I couldn’t do it.
I failed for two reasons. First, in the active moment, I couldn’t remember the details of the move needed to do it successfully. Second, when I drilled it on Corey, he was a cooperative opponent. During the roll, my opponent was actively fighting against me.
During those same rolls, I was able to successfully complete a few other moves. Moves that I have been drilling regularly since day one of training, three years ago. Moves that I have practiced hundreds of times from several different angles and against several different opponents. Moves that are muscle memory for me.
I had coffee with a friend this past weekend and I made the comment that self-defense classes are bullshit. She was surprised at first, but after thinking about it, she agreed. She said she was recently walking by herself in a sketchy area and she found herself trying to remember the moves she was shown in a self-defense seminar a few years ago. All she could remember was something about targeting an attacker’s joints.
She said it was a humbling realization and she now sees that self-defense seminars aren’t the best idea.
2. It creates a false sense of confidence.
Because we can’t build that muscle memory in just a few hours, these self-defense seminars create a false sense of confidence.
They make people believe they will know what to do and be able to fend off an attacker if they need to. This can lead them to subconsciously be a little less aware when they’re walking alone.
After a self-defense seminar, a woman may think, “Oh I got this!” and walk down the street alone at night a little more care-free.
Recently, a 14-year-old kid I know got sucker punched at school. A bigger kid came up to him and asked him if he wanted to fight. He said no and turned around to walk away. The bigger kid punched him in the back of the head.
His mom asked me and Corey if we could show him some jiu-jitsu moves so he could defend himself if this were to happen again.
We told her no.1
We told him and his parents that showing him a bunch of moves would actually put him in more danger because it would give him a false sense of confidence if something similar were to happen again. He would think he’d be able to remember everything Corey and I would have shown him and that could cause him to get hurt even more.
Another example
Even if something does become muscle memory, it can still be extremely difficult to remember everything during a life-threatening situation.
Think about the first time you learned how to make coffee. You probably either had someone show you the steps or you watched a tutorial online.
Fill the coffee maker’s reservoir with water
Put a filter in the basket
Measure out your coffee grounds and put them into the filter in the basket
Close the basket
Put the pot under the dripper
Plug in the coffee maker
Turn the coffee maker on
Seems easy enough. Even still, until your brain commits it to long-term memory, you may have to refer back to the video a few times. You may forget how much water or how much coffee grounds to put in.
But now, years later, you can probably make coffee every morning with your eyes closed or while engaging in a conversation at the same time. You don’t have to think about the individual steps because you’ve been making coffee every morning for years.
Now I want you to think about having to make coffee as if your life depends on it. Seems silly, but bare with me. Imagine someone has broken into your home suddenly and holding a weapon toward you telling you to make a full pot of coffee or else…
Ok, just breathe, you can do this! After all, you make coffee every single morning.
Wait, what step comes first again?
Your hands are shaking so you spill a bunch of water while trying to fill the reservoir and now there’s not enough water for a full pot!
How much coffee do I put in? Is it 3 scoops or 4?!
You’re hitting the power button but THE COFFEE POT WON’T TURN ON!!! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!
In the frenzy of the moment, with a stranger invading the sanctuary of your home and personal space, with the presence of a weapon, you forgot the step of plugging the coffee pot into the outlet.
And making coffee is something that IS muscle memory. Imagine if someone broke into your home and demanded you make a pot of coffee when you were just shown how to make coffee the day before.
What’s better than a one-time seminar?
Short answer, consistent practice.
Drilling moves over and over and over, hundreds of times.
Drilling moves from all different angles.
Drilling moves against all types of opponents. Opponents smaller than you (sometimes it’s harder to do a certain move against someone smaller), larger than you, weaker than you, stronger than you. Willing opponents who help you through completion of the move. Actively resisting opponents to show you just how much power or leverage you’ll need in a realistic situation.
Practicing the moves against an opponent who is actively trying to fight against you and not letting you complete the move will help you further develop the muscle memory because you’re learning how to do it under pressure.
If you only drill a move on willing and compliant opponents, it’s going to be difficult or even impossible to complete the move when your life depends on it.
Think back to the example of making coffee. Even though making coffee is something you do every day, you probably never make coffee when you're under duress. Meaning, if someone breaks into your house and threatens your life unless you make coffee, the muscle memory won’t kick in because you’ve never had to make coffee while in a stressful environment.
Sign up at your local jiu-jitsu gym. Take classes regularly. Drill moves regularly and then try those moves during full rolls. Watch tutorial videos over and over and over again in between practices so you’re constantly being exposed to them.
Train your brain so the moves become second-nature and you don’t have to think about the steps in the moment.
The 14-year old that got beat up at school? Corey and I encouraged his parents to sign him up for some jiu-jitsu classes so he can consistently practice and drill moves. A few weeks later, he texted me and told me he went to his first class and he really liked it. His dad told us he’s going to go to classes 3 times a week.
It will take more time than a one-time self defense seminar that only takes a few hours of his time, but consistent training is going to help him better protect himself in the long run.
Until next week,
Rychelle
We did show him a few ways to keep some distance between himself and an attacker and how turning your back on an attacker can be dangerous so it’s better to always keep your eyes on them.
Rychelle, I've been a practitioner of the fighting arts for over 30 years and trained one-on-one with some of the best. My Kung Fu instructor moved from VA to CA to live in my house where we trained daily. Before that I was trained in defensive tactics, hand-to-hand, and other defensive methods by some of the best, those who train our Federal Agents.
In turn, I have also taught defensive preparation and awareness for over 17 years, and I will say that you are 100% correct on your focus on this article.
In Cali, we taught countless women and children defensive strategies and personal preparedness and we were always running into the fruit of this "one off" master classes. The results were devastating to say the least as many women seek this type of instruction because they feel the need; they have a reason because someone is hurting them. And then all the while, a false confidence puts them in greater danger.
Having been in confrontations that were near deadly, stomped and kicked, guns pulled, and numerous other scenarios, I can tell you that the hours and hours of preparation is the ONLY key to surviving. While I wish I were a ninja with Reacher level strength, I am not. And many times my training has equipped me to get back, move to safety, and retreat; thus live.
Again, I appreciate everything you are writing. It hits me deeper than you can know for my world is a world of trauma and those I love have been victims, in more ways than one.
Your voice is heard here. Thank you.
Great context on why one-off classes does more harm than good. Heck, I've been frazzled in making my morning coffee and sometimes forget to put my mug to actually CATCH said coffee from the machine!